“Naazul, I cannot believe how lazy you are becoming day by day. Leave your phone, pray isha and do not forget to recite Holy Quran and Ayat ul Kursi before you sleep.” shouted my mom at me at an advising tone.
“Okay, my sweet Amma, I will not forget to offer prayers, but I will pray when our group chat ends, it is important.” I replied back with my concentration on my phone.
“Prayer is more important than all these aimless conversations, honey,” said my mom.
“Okay, you now please sleep and do not irritate me more.” I angrily said to mom.
I could not realize how the time flew fast and I slept without offering my isha prayer and recitation.
I woke up in a hollow, gloomy cave which I could not even fit in. I had bent my back so that I could manage and do not hit my head at the roof of that cave. I could not figure out which spot it really was, but to me it was not less than something annoying and horrifying all at once.
I kept walking with my bent back in the eternal darkness yet unable to discover anything. The view scared me to death, little beings crawling on my body and entering my body through my nose and eyes. I had shut my mouth up so that the little beings do not enter my body through my mouth.
“What is this happening to me?” I cried and questioned myself.
They were huge, thin and sharp needles entering my feet with every step I was taking forward.
“Stop crawling on my body and biting me.” I shouted with hope in my heart for all those little beings to stop. But they did not.
All the sufferings increased. I did not know where I was and what was happening with me. Whether to wipe the little beings from my body or to take the needles out from my feet, I was greatly stuck in a dilemmatic realm.
“Oh, God, please help me out.” I vociferated to seek God’s help, but it also did not work by then.
With every step I took forward, I experienced something far worse and painful than the previous one.
Far away, I, covered with darkness, sensed a ray of light initiating from a hole, wide enough for me to get out from this hell. The rays of the light were bringing life into my body. I ran as fast as I could bearing all the needles sticking on my body along those little beings entering my nose, mouth and ears.
“Eww! I chewed them, yuck! Why is all this happening to me? Where am I? How can I get rid of this grave?” I shouted at myself with pity in my eyes and unanswered questions in my heart.
“Grave.”
“Did I just say grave? Is it the grave? No, I cannot die so soon. I still want to live many more years of my life.” I screamed with fear of death and breathed as fast as I could to confirm if I was alive.
“Yes, I am alive. I can move and talk,” an hope emerged into my words with the feeling of being alive.
While breathing through my mouth to confirm if I was alive, I forgot those little beings which were entering my body through my mouth.
There I reached, at the hole of light. The gloomy cave was near end.
“What is that awful smell?” I questioned myself again to make myself busy with reciprocal conversation.
And here I was at the other side of the hole of light, but the smell and piercing noises were making me vulnerable. The fact that I sensed shocked me to death. I was in the most wretched condition, bleeding, smelling awful and body stuffed with horrifying little beings.
I wanted to clean myself. I kept wiping all those horrifying little beings from my body. The other side of the hole was the graveyard. I saw people digging something.
Ignoring all this I ran as fast as my feet had energy. I kept running and leaving all those little beings on the ground. I reached my home and wanted myself to be cleaned. But I was not the old ‘me’, but someone esle. If I was me then who was the one laying there amidst thr crowd.
“I cannot die!” The statement kept echoing in my mind.
There I was, crying for my laying self. Trying to ignore the fact that I had died. My dreams had vanished. I was not prepared for my hereafter. I was yet not in the grave. I was about to be taken to the graveyard in some minutes.
The grave which those people were digging was for me from where I had just run, I realized.
“Where was I before then? Is my grave going to be narrower, darker and more unbearable than that hole? I had not pleased my Lord.” I screamed imagining punishment that I was about to come through. I kept crying, but my tears were blood and the smell of my body was worse than the garbage. I was in the most miserable condition.
“Oh no, it cannot be. It is impossible. I want a second chance, God.” I insisted. I did not know to whom I was talking to. Maybe to my laying self.
With a blink of eye, my laying self was surrounded with anew people. Those masses who I had never seen in my life including those who hated me and broke their relationships with us. I was dumbstruck looking at how the things changed with a death.
Everyone proceeded to my laying self, embracing me and feeling sympathy for me which they had never shown when I was alive. I saw everyone. In fact, those to whom I kept chatting till late night ignoring my prayers and tahajjud, but they could do nothing for me. They could not help me in that dark hole.
“How can they be a source of light in my grave?” I could neither believe the bitter truth nor let it go. I wanted to have a second chance to have something to carry with me in my grave.
“My worldly degrees are not enough helping me, why aren’t they?” I cried with pain in my voice.
Every second was getting harsher on me. My body stuffed with scary beings and kept smelling worse.
“Death could also be this scary,” I thought to myself.
Four men came to my laying self and took me on their shoulders. Just like a magnet I kept running behind my laying self unwillingly. I kept shouting and calling them to stop, not to take me to the place for which I was not prepared. But Alas! No one heard me.
I was soon into my grave. Every single person was leaving me alone: my mom who loved me eternally was not with me either. I had nothing, neither my worldly degrees nor those of my friends who promised to never leave me alone. And I remembered they had said until death, and here I was_ a dead soul.
There was no one with me. No one accompanied me during my hardest times_ but who could!
My prayers could assist me but I had ignored them during my healthy days.
My untouched and not recited Holy Quran could widen my grave, but I ignored it too.
I had no good deeds to carry with me. All my life I had been harsh to everyone. I wish I had prayed and pleased my Lord and His creatures. I wish I had good deeds to lighten my grave.
Everyone was closing my grave with the sand particles around and leaving me all alone empty handed.
“Take me with you. Do not leave me alone. I have nothing here. It is getting narrower. Please stay around.” I shouted asking them to stay but they left.
I was so scared. I cried my heart out asking God for a second chance. Suddenly, a spark of light appeared after which a flash shut my eyes.
When I reopened my eyes, I found myself in my bed with my heart beating faster. I was sweating, crying, regretting and thinking about the scenario I had experienced a while ago.
“No, it cannot be,” I said to myself with tears in my eyes. I was back home. God had given me a second chance to live. A second chance.
I promised to myself that I would be compassionate with everyone I meet with and serve the human beings all my life. And I would be doing so many good deeds so that they accompany me when I am back their in my grave. I also promised myself to recite my Holy Quran everyday I wake up.
And then I remembered I had not offered my isha’s prayer. I directly rushed to the washroom to take wadhu, grabbing the prayer mate, crying and thanking my Lord for the second chance He has blessed me with and repenting for all those sins I had committed.
“Indeed, My Lord is the best forgiver.”